Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Critics are Well Wishers !!
For a long part of my early life, I thought I did all the right things and that I was God's gift to mankind. Anyone who criticized me was labeled either a fool or a negative person. I did not bother to hear what the critic said and instead mentally defended myself and my actions. I also told myself that this person is criticizing me because he / she does not like me and enjoys hurting me.
Then I came across a concept that my critics are my well wishers in Robin Sharma’s blog. As I started to think about it, I realized that this is a very powerful insight. Why would anyone criticize me? Who would spend time and effort criticizing me? What would a person gain by criticizing me? Such questions led me to the understanding that only people who genuinely care for me will make the effort. People who have no relationship with me or who have nothing to gain by my evolution would look the other way when I made mistakes.
When I started reflecting on this insight, I realized that in my life, only my close family, friends, relatives, co-workers have given me criticism. Only those who had my best interest in mind pointed out my flaws and gave me tips on improvements. Only people who care about me will try or have tried to correct me and in the process help me evolve into a better person. Others had either been silent spectators or people who saw my weaknesses with glee.
As I realized this, I started appreciating each feedback and each input. I started focusing on the message and not on the messenger. As I appreciated this and acknowledged this, I became more aware and moved ahead in the evolution path. I made peace with others and with myself. I improved the quality of my relationship with others. However, I still retained the right to reject the message if I did not agree or had a rationale reason for my behavior.
The people and events that bug, anger and hurt you are the ideal educators to help you learn the lessons that will help you shine - at work, at home and in life - Robin Sharma
In the face of unjust criticism we can become bitter or better; upset or understanding; hostile or humble; furious or forgiving - William Arthur Ward
Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots. - Frank A. Clark