Saturday, September 26, 2009

Limit your teasing

As a child I used to be teased often for various things and it used to make me very angry. My elder brothers used to get encouraged by my irritation and used to tease me more. Looking back, I realise that most of them were silly stuff and I could very well have smiled and laughed along with my tormentors if only my ego had permitted me.

Teasing is something that is indulged in by everyone occasionally. For some people it is an addiction that gives them a high and a feeling of superiority. Most do it for fun but some do it maliciously to hurt others. As long as we are within limits and do it sensitively, it adds to the spice of life. When we use it continuously and relentlessly without caring about the victim's feelings, it is almost like a sin. If we do not limit our teasing, it can have disastrous effects on our relationships.

It is OK to make fun of ourselves. People love people who have the ability to laugh at themselves. Many a public speaker and leader have made a career of cracking jokes about themselves. I would say even this has to be limited. Beyond a point, people will start believing us to be the fools that we portray ourselves as or may consider this as a licence to ridicule us.

Teasing about physical or other defects should be strictly avoided. Even making fun of others in their absence is not correct. It shows a lack of courage. Ideally teasing should be between 'equals' in any relationship. Do not ever indulge in teasing if the other person is sad or upset. As a rule, look for ways and means of having 'inclusive' fun rather than 'exclusive' fun.


manivannan said...

A very striking post Vish! Well-written :-)

Teasing is really a very sensitive issue. I have hurted many of my friends, and also been hurted by many. Even if our intention is just to poke fun, teasing would hurt people deeply...since we may never know what they are going thro...

So, it's good and better if we limit our teasing; but I think, it's even better if we could refrain from it :-)

shri ramesh sadasivam said...

Hi Vish,

Wonderful. Brilliant points.

Its very true that teasing can be only between two equals. And that too, only when they have good will on each other.

This post reminds me one of Balakumaran's articles, titled 'teasing.' (In Tamil)

He says Dhuryodhana's jealousy became vengeance only after he was laughed at by Draupati, while he slipped and fell in the invisible pond.

So better limit our teasing only within our intimate circles and that too with much care and awareness.

lakshmi said...

Teasing sometimes makes the receiver to shrink into his/her shell...a sort of inferiority complex develops
interesting post and very aptly said.