Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Avoid blame game
Life is uncertain and volatile. In the midst of success, we suddenly see failures or vice versa. In the midst of much happiness, we encounter sad moments or vice versa. When we enjoy success we take full credit on our efforts. Some of us who are magnanimous, do express gratitude to the people who have made our success possible. Some go out of the way to deny all personal credit and acknowledge every possible contact (think of film award ceremonies).
What happens when we encounter problems or failures? Do we introspect on the reasons? Or do we invent excuses? Or blame others? Sometimes, it is easy and convenient to look outside for the reasons of our problems. It makes us feel better if we disclose that the problems were caused by external elements and we had nothing to do with it. How many of us have the sense of responsibility, honesty and courage to admit our shortcomings? Do we go to great lengths to defend ourselves and prove ourselves innocent?
If we tend to blame others incessantly and unnecessarily, we end up antagonising them. No one likes to be blamed. People start avoiding our company fearing the next blame will fall on them. We end up losing our friends and become lonely in life.
If you encounter setbacks or failures, as you sometimes will, curb the first instinct to look for a scapegoat. Think rationally and logically as to what is the cause. Is it a chance event that no one had any control over? Is it a consequence of something that we specifically remember? Is there learning for us? Is there any point crying over spilt milk? This approach will make you balanced and positive. You will end up using the opportunity to become better and find support from others too in your moment of crisis.
"A man can fail many times but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else" - John Burroughs
“Fix the problem, not the blame.” - Japanese proverb