In the Bhagvat Puran, there is a story of a King who meets a vagabond who was enlightened and was ever happy and blissful. The King wished to know who taught him the secret of living life so peacefully. “Who is your Guru?” the King asked. The vagabond replied that he has many teachers and he learns from everything. For example, he learns from mother earth to be patient, from fire to consume everything without being affected, from the oceans to be calm and be within boundaries etc. etc.
Thus, if one is prepared and willing to learn, one can learn from everyone and everything around us. We do not need formal teachers for learning is all around us. Just as the cell phone starts receiving signals as soon as it is switched on, we should "switch on" our learning sensors and we can enjoy learning virtually every moment of our lives.
There are people who, by their example, teach us good practices like discipline, patience, calmness, positive mindset, soft and pleasant speech, hard work, vigour, courage, perseverance etc. There are also people from whom we live how not to live. They do things which we detest like being complaining, by being cruel, by being dishonest, by lying, by cheating, by being violent, by wasting precious resources or by polluting etc. We can even learn from other things in nature like trees, mountains, oceans, wind, space, sky etc. as mentioned above.
Instead of being judgemental, we should look at every opportunity as a learning opportunity. Instead of correcting others, we should aim at correcting ourselves. We are in this world to evolve and improve ourselves to such an extent that we merge with the divine and become divine ourselves. What better way to do this than by learning all the time?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Count your Blessings !!
Each one of us is blessed with so many things. While some may be happy in love, for some it may be a sound body and mind, for some it may be excellent family or extra-ordinary parents, for some it may be success in career or business, for some others it could be some terrific talent or popularity. Extremely rare are people who have everything good or bad in life. Most people have some "blessings" and some "missings".
If we think about what we have and look around at people who do not have it (be it any of the blessings listed above or other blessings), we might suddenly find ourselves in an enviable position. We might consider ourselves superior. We might feel so good that we may want to celebrate or smile non-stop. We might want to proudly tell the world what we have.
On the other hand, if we look at what others have and check whether we also have it, we could be disappointed, depressed or upset. We might feel like complaining that life is unfair to me or we might start burning with envy or start losing self worth.
One is a situation where we are deliriously happy and another where we are dejected and forlorn. Which is a better situation? Is it not in our hands to decide which situation we want to be in? Can we not be happy by counting our blessings and ignoring what we do not have? This does not mean that we become fatalist and give up ambition altogether. It is only a message to look at the brighter side of things and not ignore what is already in one’s kitty!!
And if there are things that we once had but not any longer, let us be happy in the memories of the good times. Let us look back at the past and thank the heavens for the opportunities and the blessings enjoyed by us then....
If we think about what we have and look around at people who do not have it (be it any of the blessings listed above or other blessings), we might suddenly find ourselves in an enviable position. We might consider ourselves superior. We might feel so good that we may want to celebrate or smile non-stop. We might want to proudly tell the world what we have.
On the other hand, if we look at what others have and check whether we also have it, we could be disappointed, depressed or upset. We might feel like complaining that life is unfair to me or we might start burning with envy or start losing self worth.
One is a situation where we are deliriously happy and another where we are dejected and forlorn. Which is a better situation? Is it not in our hands to decide which situation we want to be in? Can we not be happy by counting our blessings and ignoring what we do not have? This does not mean that we become fatalist and give up ambition altogether. It is only a message to look at the brighter side of things and not ignore what is already in one’s kitty!!
And if there are things that we once had but not any longer, let us be happy in the memories of the good times. Let us look back at the past and thank the heavens for the opportunities and the blessings enjoyed by us then....
Friday, May 8, 2009
Be considerate to others
One of the kindest things we can do is being considerate to others. By keeping this thought uppermost in our minds, we can watch our every act and try to enforce this. I have seen people who show little acts of courtesy all the time like talking softly in public places or switching their phones in silent mode, like wearing a deodorant, like keeping doors open for the next person coming in, like offering a seat to another needy person etc. etc. Such people are really very cultured and thoughtful.
Being considerate to others is being selfless. I once read a message in a public toilet which said "After use, please leave the toilet exactly as you would have liked it to be when you came in". Very powerful. When we are through with using things, do we care for the next user? Do we leave the leave the toilet or the wash basin clean & dry after use? Many of these acts are really very small and perhaps may skip our attention at times. However, these are big statements about our mindset and our approach to others.
When we start being considerate to others, we trigger a chain reaction and we become triggers for a movement in these lines. People who watch us closely cannot but notice our behaviour and become influenced by it. This is especially true for children whose minds are being moulded and are not yet "hard coded". Our teaching by "demonstration" is more powerful than any form of lecturing or intellectualising.
In India, there is a place called Lucknow which is famous for such cultured behaviour. People will always offer the first right of use to the next person by saying "Pehle Aap" which means "First You". Each one would sacrifice their right and be more upright than the other. What if this becomes the culture of the world - where the self gets relegated to a secondary position? Would the world not be a lovely place to live if everyone displays such considerate behaviour?
Being considerate to others is being selfless. I once read a message in a public toilet which said "After use, please leave the toilet exactly as you would have liked it to be when you came in". Very powerful. When we are through with using things, do we care for the next user? Do we leave the leave the toilet or the wash basin clean & dry after use? Many of these acts are really very small and perhaps may skip our attention at times. However, these are big statements about our mindset and our approach to others.
When we start being considerate to others, we trigger a chain reaction and we become triggers for a movement in these lines. People who watch us closely cannot but notice our behaviour and become influenced by it. This is especially true for children whose minds are being moulded and are not yet "hard coded". Our teaching by "demonstration" is more powerful than any form of lecturing or intellectualising.
In India, there is a place called Lucknow which is famous for such cultured behaviour. People will always offer the first right of use to the next person by saying "Pehle Aap" which means "First You". Each one would sacrifice their right and be more upright than the other. What if this becomes the culture of the world - where the self gets relegated to a secondary position? Would the world not be a lovely place to live if everyone displays such considerate behaviour?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Composure
“We only control what we do and have no control over what happens” , is a quote I read recently. I was stunned by the simplicity and the profundity of this quote.
If this is true, which I believe it to be, what are the implications? Should one be a fatalist and wait for things that are destined to happen? Or should one seize the opportunity knowing fully well that we control what we do and make the best of it? And when we are working with determination and purpose and things do not go our way, what should we do? How should we react?
Lord Krishna in Bhagvad Gita shows us the way. He says we should be composed and equipoised in our lives. Neither defeat nor victory should affect us significantly. Our balance and composure should not be disturbed by outcomes which are outside our control. If we lead our lives thus we will be ever happy.
Being composed thus is not easy. It is unnatural. We can be so composed only when we are spiritually evolved and look at both victory as well as defeat as being essentially temporary. In this world, everything is temporary - be it moments like these, be it relationships, be it possessions etc. The very nature of this world is that it is changing continuously. Nothing lasts. If we look back at anything in history we will find that no condition and no situation were permanent.
With this realisation, one should resolve to be composed. Because neither will our gains remain with us nor will our losses deprive us. Neither should praise impact us nor should blame or criticism shame us. By being composed, one is confirming ones faith in the Almighty and surrendering ones circumstances to the All Powerful God.
Be gracious in victory and graceful in defeat - Vishwanath Seshadri
If this is true, which I believe it to be, what are the implications? Should one be a fatalist and wait for things that are destined to happen? Or should one seize the opportunity knowing fully well that we control what we do and make the best of it? And when we are working with determination and purpose and things do not go our way, what should we do? How should we react?
Lord Krishna in Bhagvad Gita shows us the way. He says we should be composed and equipoised in our lives. Neither defeat nor victory should affect us significantly. Our balance and composure should not be disturbed by outcomes which are outside our control. If we lead our lives thus we will be ever happy.
Being composed thus is not easy. It is unnatural. We can be so composed only when we are spiritually evolved and look at both victory as well as defeat as being essentially temporary. In this world, everything is temporary - be it moments like these, be it relationships, be it possessions etc. The very nature of this world is that it is changing continuously. Nothing lasts. If we look back at anything in history we will find that no condition and no situation were permanent.
With this realisation, one should resolve to be composed. Because neither will our gains remain with us nor will our losses deprive us. Neither should praise impact us nor should blame or criticism shame us. By being composed, one is confirming ones faith in the Almighty and surrendering ones circumstances to the All Powerful God.
Be gracious in victory and graceful in defeat - Vishwanath Seshadri
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Sincerity
One of the many values that I hold dear is sincerity. Sincerity conveys honesty. Whenever any task is done with sincerity, it gets accomplished well. As Paul Coelho says, "the entire Universe conspires to make you successful" if you are sincere, eager and keen. There are many forces that work in this universe and we are not aware of them. These forces are ever watching our effort and our mind.
Sincere people are open and transparent. They believe in plain & straight talk. They are not devious. They love fair play. They are clean at heart and hold no malice towards others. They put in honest efforts in getting things done. They help others achieve their goals and aspirations. The are glad on seeing success - either theirs or others.
Some people think that they can bluff their way or do things without putting much effort. They believe in passing off their work or taking short cuts and reaching their goals quickly. Indeed, it may be possible that we observe some people who are successful in the short term by adopting such methods. We may also observe sincere people struggling.
However, success is not to be measured in this manner. A successful life is one where one has lived an ideal life with honesty of thought and effort. Lord Krishna says in Bhagvad Geeta "Don't worry about results but focus on efforts". Right kind of effort leads to the right kind of results eventually. There are enough examples of people and institutions which have seen short term success using dubious processes only to have massive failures later.
Sincerity is a virtue that one should cultivate irrespective of the immediate results. There may be many temptations or pressures to be otherwise. It may, perhaps, be tougher to be sincere and unpleasant too. However, like the needle of the compass that always points to the North, our lives too need to be organised in such a manner that it always follows the right path.
Sincere people are open and transparent. They believe in plain & straight talk. They are not devious. They love fair play. They are clean at heart and hold no malice towards others. They put in honest efforts in getting things done. They help others achieve their goals and aspirations. The are glad on seeing success - either theirs or others.
Some people think that they can bluff their way or do things without putting much effort. They believe in passing off their work or taking short cuts and reaching their goals quickly. Indeed, it may be possible that we observe some people who are successful in the short term by adopting such methods. We may also observe sincere people struggling.
However, success is not to be measured in this manner. A successful life is one where one has lived an ideal life with honesty of thought and effort. Lord Krishna says in Bhagvad Geeta "Don't worry about results but focus on efforts". Right kind of effort leads to the right kind of results eventually. There are enough examples of people and institutions which have seen short term success using dubious processes only to have massive failures later.
Sincerity is a virtue that one should cultivate irrespective of the immediate results. There may be many temptations or pressures to be otherwise. It may, perhaps, be tougher to be sincere and unpleasant too. However, like the needle of the compass that always points to the North, our lives too need to be organised in such a manner that it always follows the right path.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Nature Cures !!
The human body is a wonderful creation of the Creator. It has all the ingredients to be self propelling, self driven and self reliant. It only needs nourishment to provide for energy. Everything else is produced by the body itself. It has the capacity to absorb from the air and sunshine around and its internal organs can produce all kinds of chemicals, acids and vitamins needed by the body.
All it needs is nourishing food (as contrasted to tasty food which tickles the tongue), active lifestyle (as contrasted with a sedentary one) and adequate rest and sleep. When it falls ill or has injuries, it needs to be supported by some modifications in lifestyle and eating habits and some rest. The ills and the injuries usually get self corrected.
Modern science has progressed considerably and it knows all these facts about the human body. However, the custodians of science (namely the doctors and the pharma companies) would want us to believe that without medication for every complaint, we could have serious problems. Of course, there are some illness which are best cured and prevented by taking medication. However, most of the common ailments do not need medication. By taking medication, we only end up dulling the body's inherent capacity but also making it dependent on external support.
I strongly believe in allowing the body to self medicate by providing minimal external support. Regulating ones diet and providing adequate rest is also important. One should follow practices like Yoga which stimulates internal organs as well as stretches the body and makes it supple, flexible and healthy. Meditation (a good alternative to medication) is another practice which calms the mind and prevents / cures most of our ailments which are anyway a creation of the mind.
A healthy life and a calm and cheerful mind is in your hands !!
All it needs is nourishing food (as contrasted to tasty food which tickles the tongue), active lifestyle (as contrasted with a sedentary one) and adequate rest and sleep. When it falls ill or has injuries, it needs to be supported by some modifications in lifestyle and eating habits and some rest. The ills and the injuries usually get self corrected.
Modern science has progressed considerably and it knows all these facts about the human body. However, the custodians of science (namely the doctors and the pharma companies) would want us to believe that without medication for every complaint, we could have serious problems. Of course, there are some illness which are best cured and prevented by taking medication. However, most of the common ailments do not need medication. By taking medication, we only end up dulling the body's inherent capacity but also making it dependent on external support.
I strongly believe in allowing the body to self medicate by providing minimal external support. Regulating ones diet and providing adequate rest is also important. One should follow practices like Yoga which stimulates internal organs as well as stretches the body and makes it supple, flexible and healthy. Meditation (a good alternative to medication) is another practice which calms the mind and prevents / cures most of our ailments which are anyway a creation of the mind.
A healthy life and a calm and cheerful mind is in your hands !!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Eschew Violence
As per Hindu scriptures, violence / slaughter houses is one of the five places where evil exists - others are in gold / wealth, illicit sex / prostitution, gambling and alcohol consumption.
All around us we see acts of violence being committed all the time. People want to settle all differences by use of force. There are many who indulge in violence without a second thought. And there are also people who enjoy this 'sport'. Imagine the crowds watching sports such as bull fighting or cock fighting. Somehow there is a section of people who love to watch bloodletting and pain creation happen.
When someone is indulging in violence or encouraging / supporting violence, he is incurring sin. By avoiding violence, we are ensuring that evil does not come near us. By staying away from evil, in this manner, we are walking the path of the virtuous and the pious ones which will lead us to the highest state that man strives for.
Violence here refers not merely about the physical violence. It also includes other aspects like violence of speech, violence of thought etc. One should be striving to control the mind in such a manner by which violence is never an option. Humans who achieve this would be reaching the highest state of evolution. The more the mind resorts to violence, the less human we are. Who are we but animals, if we resort to violence?
When we are moving on a path which shuns violence, we are surrounded by peace. All our differences can be addressed or resolved by dialogue and discussion. For mature individuals, it must be logic that drives decisions, isn't it? In peaceful surroundings, our health improves, our mind thinks clearly and we see more solutions. We begin to accept other's point of view and even appreciate diversity.
This topic cannot be completed without a mention of the father of our nation - Mahatma Gandhi who was the apostle of non-violence. He was the true contemporary saint who re-taught the world its responsibilities and the way to live. It was he who said "An eye for an eye will only lead to the whole world becoming blind". By propagating non-violence, Mahatma Gandhi achieved our country's freedom and at the same time, reaffirmed our country's prominence in civilized behaviour and spiritual leadership.
All around us we see acts of violence being committed all the time. People want to settle all differences by use of force. There are many who indulge in violence without a second thought. And there are also people who enjoy this 'sport'. Imagine the crowds watching sports such as bull fighting or cock fighting. Somehow there is a section of people who love to watch bloodletting and pain creation happen.
When someone is indulging in violence or encouraging / supporting violence, he is incurring sin. By avoiding violence, we are ensuring that evil does not come near us. By staying away from evil, in this manner, we are walking the path of the virtuous and the pious ones which will lead us to the highest state that man strives for.
Violence here refers not merely about the physical violence. It also includes other aspects like violence of speech, violence of thought etc. One should be striving to control the mind in such a manner by which violence is never an option. Humans who achieve this would be reaching the highest state of evolution. The more the mind resorts to violence, the less human we are. Who are we but animals, if we resort to violence?
When we are moving on a path which shuns violence, we are surrounded by peace. All our differences can be addressed or resolved by dialogue and discussion. For mature individuals, it must be logic that drives decisions, isn't it? In peaceful surroundings, our health improves, our mind thinks clearly and we see more solutions. We begin to accept other's point of view and even appreciate diversity.
This topic cannot be completed without a mention of the father of our nation - Mahatma Gandhi who was the apostle of non-violence. He was the true contemporary saint who re-taught the world its responsibilities and the way to live. It was he who said "An eye for an eye will only lead to the whole world becoming blind". By propagating non-violence, Mahatma Gandhi achieved our country's freedom and at the same time, reaffirmed our country's prominence in civilized behaviour and spiritual leadership.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Speak Softly !!
It is said that one of the first faculties to develop in the child when it is in the womb is the ear and the sense of hearing. Likewise, it is believed that the last sense to fail when a person is dying, is his sense of hearing. Communication is very important for knowing other peoples thoughts as well as to let other people know our thoughts. What and how we speak reflects our upbringing, our maturity and our sense of balance.
Often, we do not watch our speech. At times when we get excited or emotional, we get carried away and lose all control over our speech. Public speaking is said to be one of the most stressful occasions when people get overwhelmed and sometimes have coordination problems between the mind and the tongue. Sometimes, other emotions like fear or anger can adversely impact our speech.
Others, however, are constantly watching us speak and forming opinions or changing opinions that they hold about us. So, it is important that we control our speech. When we speak softly, we win friends and can influence people. Real leaders do not rave and rant when they speak. Rather, they speak softly and gently and appeal to the inner emotions of their listeners.
It is when we are agitated that we need to control our speech the most. If we speak roughly or loudly, we might hurt or discourage someone. Rough speech is the fastest way to lose friends or make enemies. Moreover, we need to be always conscious of the impact that we make with our speech.
Speaking softly helps calm us down and improves the "atmosphere". People get motivated to communicate freely when such an atmosphere exists. Open communication builds trust and creates a positive impact on productivity and efficiency.
So, speak softly and smile often :-)
Often, we do not watch our speech. At times when we get excited or emotional, we get carried away and lose all control over our speech. Public speaking is said to be one of the most stressful occasions when people get overwhelmed and sometimes have coordination problems between the mind and the tongue. Sometimes, other emotions like fear or anger can adversely impact our speech.
Others, however, are constantly watching us speak and forming opinions or changing opinions that they hold about us. So, it is important that we control our speech. When we speak softly, we win friends and can influence people. Real leaders do not rave and rant when they speak. Rather, they speak softly and gently and appeal to the inner emotions of their listeners.
It is when we are agitated that we need to control our speech the most. If we speak roughly or loudly, we might hurt or discourage someone. Rough speech is the fastest way to lose friends or make enemies. Moreover, we need to be always conscious of the impact that we make with our speech.
Speaking softly helps calm us down and improves the "atmosphere". People get motivated to communicate freely when such an atmosphere exists. Open communication builds trust and creates a positive impact on productivity and efficiency.
So, speak softly and smile often :-)
Monday, April 27, 2009
Let's Change Ourselves !!
At some point of time, most of us would have wondered what is going to be the future of this world. Everywhere we see increase in all the negative aspects like falsehood, dishonesty, corruption, violence, unfairness, pollution, greed etc. We see the world getting tightly caught in the web of negative influences and thus deteriorating and degenerating. When we look back a few years, it seems that life was much better in the past. People seemed much simpler then and life was much more peaceful. We hope that those good times will return and we can re-live the past.
The big question, therefore, could be what needs to be done to stem the rot in our system? What should be done to prevent people from following the wrong path? Should we change the education system - inculcate moral values in the curriculum? Should we incentivise and encourage honesty? Should we teach people to be more selfless and caring? What is the most effective and sure method of improving the world?
In my view, all of these are important. I am sure my readers can think of even more effective and interesting concepts that may be tried. However, more important than attempting to change the world (such a huge task!) it is important that we look inwards towards ourselves. Are we living the right kind of life? Are we getting less selfish and greedy for ourselves? Are we being honest to the core (even when no one is looking)? Are we following the ideal kind of life that we expect the world to follow?
If the answer to any of the questions is no, then we have a serious challenge. How can we expect others to behave in a manner that we do not follow? Also, it should be easier to change ourselves (really?) than attempting to change others. If only we can master ourselves and our impulses, the world would be easy to conquer. People tend to look up and respect people who have mastered themselves. Such people become true leaders - Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela are a few names that come to mind.
I read somewhere that the whole world will become beautiful and clean, if only each person makes the effort of cleaning his house and his front yard. Let’s start with our houses and minds and soon enough, we will become living examples for others to follow and emulate.
"He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty" - Tao Te Ching
The big question, therefore, could be what needs to be done to stem the rot in our system? What should be done to prevent people from following the wrong path? Should we change the education system - inculcate moral values in the curriculum? Should we incentivise and encourage honesty? Should we teach people to be more selfless and caring? What is the most effective and sure method of improving the world?
In my view, all of these are important. I am sure my readers can think of even more effective and interesting concepts that may be tried. However, more important than attempting to change the world (such a huge task!) it is important that we look inwards towards ourselves. Are we living the right kind of life? Are we getting less selfish and greedy for ourselves? Are we being honest to the core (even when no one is looking)? Are we following the ideal kind of life that we expect the world to follow?
If the answer to any of the questions is no, then we have a serious challenge. How can we expect others to behave in a manner that we do not follow? Also, it should be easier to change ourselves (really?) than attempting to change others. If only we can master ourselves and our impulses, the world would be easy to conquer. People tend to look up and respect people who have mastered themselves. Such people become true leaders - Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela are a few names that come to mind.
I read somewhere that the whole world will become beautiful and clean, if only each person makes the effort of cleaning his house and his front yard. Let’s start with our houses and minds and soon enough, we will become living examples for others to follow and emulate.
"He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty" - Tao Te Ching
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Celebrate your Daughter (CYD) !!
There are several communities (esp. in India) where the girl child is seen as bringing bad luck and miseries to the parents. This is because of certain social evils that still exist (like the dowry system) as well as the feeling that "investing" in the girl child is not going to bring "returns" to the parents in their old age. This has led to some very evil practices such as female infanticide as well as abusing the girl child and not providing adequate parenting.
Very obviously these are practices which are misplaced and will have dangerous consequences for both the immediate family as well as the society in the long run.
Let me explain why I think that the birth of a daughter should be a cause of celebration not only in the family but in the community and the country as well!! Daughters are as lovable as sons. They have proved that, given the opportunity, they are as capable as sons in shining both in academics as well as career. They are much more attached, affectionate and devoted to their families and tend to be much more selfless.
Although, the daughters do get married invariably and move away from their families, they tend to leave their minds with their parents and families and shower them with love on every possible occasion. The daughters are to be seen not as liabilities but rather as assets.
For a society to grow and develop, it needs more daughters. With dwindling female ratio, the society will see more stress and strife. The population will get skewed and will even stop growing. The demographics of the community and country will start worsening and it will be a question of time that the society will denigrate into chaos and anarchy.
Daughters soon become mothers and they shape their children's thoughts and value systems by inculcating the early education. Daughters who get a lot of love in their early lives tend to do the same with their children. Children who get groomed well thus, form good citizens and contribute positively to the country's growth.
Daughters are vital assets both for the family and the country as has been mentioned above. We need to recognise this and change our current practices. We need to introduce incentives and motivation to people who have daughters. We need to encourage and educate young new families on the benefits of having and caring for the girl child.
So, go ahead - Celebrate Your Daughter !!
"As son is a son only till he is wed
but daughter is a daughter till she is dead" - Anon
Very obviously these are practices which are misplaced and will have dangerous consequences for both the immediate family as well as the society in the long run.
Let me explain why I think that the birth of a daughter should be a cause of celebration not only in the family but in the community and the country as well!! Daughters are as lovable as sons. They have proved that, given the opportunity, they are as capable as sons in shining both in academics as well as career. They are much more attached, affectionate and devoted to their families and tend to be much more selfless.
Although, the daughters do get married invariably and move away from their families, they tend to leave their minds with their parents and families and shower them with love on every possible occasion. The daughters are to be seen not as liabilities but rather as assets.
For a society to grow and develop, it needs more daughters. With dwindling female ratio, the society will see more stress and strife. The population will get skewed and will even stop growing. The demographics of the community and country will start worsening and it will be a question of time that the society will denigrate into chaos and anarchy.
Daughters soon become mothers and they shape their children's thoughts and value systems by inculcating the early education. Daughters who get a lot of love in their early lives tend to do the same with their children. Children who get groomed well thus, form good citizens and contribute positively to the country's growth.
Daughters are vital assets both for the family and the country as has been mentioned above. We need to recognise this and change our current practices. We need to introduce incentives and motivation to people who have daughters. We need to encourage and educate young new families on the benefits of having and caring for the girl child.
So, go ahead - Celebrate Your Daughter !!
"As son is a son only till he is wed
but daughter is a daughter till she is dead" - Anon
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