Be truthful always

All of us are taught this basic value very early in our lives. Our parents and teachers stressed on the need and importance of being truthful. Some of us were even punished for deviating from the path. And, although we know this value well and even preach it to and expect it from others, we sometimes indulge in falsehood. In today’s world, there are very rare people who show a strong commitment to truth. Most of us lie without batting an eyelid.

Why do we lie? If we think deeply the reasons for lying are not many. It is mostly prompted by a sense of selfishness and a desire for obtaining something that we would otherwise lose. Some of the major reasons for us to lie are given below:
a. We lie to cover up our mistakes / failures / dishonesty
b. We lie to mislead others whom we distrust
c. We lie to protect ourselves
d. We lie to realise our desires
e. We lie for fun

Every lie that we utter adds to the negative Karma that we accumulate. Not only will lies boomerang on us but we will need to use more lies to cover previous ones. When we do get caught, as we eventually will, we stand to lose a lot in terms of trust and credibility. On the other hand, we will derive a lot of spiritual strength by resorting to truthfulness. It will form a protective sheath around us. We can overcome fear with truth.

If there is a strong will to be truthful it can easily be achieved. It starts with a deep sense of commitment to living a life of truth. We can overcome the urge to utter falsehood if:
a. We lead an honest and upright life
b. We seek nothing and accept everything
c. We have absolute trust and faith in God

Resolve now to be truthful henceforth!!

Austerity of speech consists of speaking truthfully and beneficially and in avoiding speech that offends
- Bhagavad Gita

Only sacred thoughts can lead to sacred speech. The tongue has been given to man to speak the truth, to be sweet to others, to praise the Divine and enjoy bliss from such sacred speech
– Lord Buddha

Always tell the truth. Then you'll never have to remember what you said the last time.
- Sam Rayburn

It does not require many words to speak the truth.
- Chief Joseph

Just Be Nice

"Be nice to everyone you come across; you never know whose help or support you will need tomorrow"

We interact with numerous people in our daily lives. With people who matter or who are important or powerful, we are naturally polite and courteous. The true revelation of our inner character is our behaviour with people who do not matter. Are we nice to them too? Or do we disregard them and their self-respect when we speak or interact with them?

It takes very little effort to be nice to everyone around us. Even if have to convey our displeasure over something that the other person has done, we can do it in a nice manner. Let us not worry that we will be ineffective if we are humble or gentle. Rather, people will respond to us better if our behaviour conveys respect to them.

When we are nice to people, we are nice to ourselves too. It has positive spin off effect on our health too. Our faces have fewer wrinkles and begin to glow. We create an aura of attractiveness around us when we are pleasant and nice. We win more friends and well wishers. And who knows when one of these people will come to our support when we need it most?

Come on and show to the world your gentle side. Let people around you bask in the warmth of your company. Just be nice - always!!

Fare well

Over the years, I have met people of different kinds – some happy, some sad, some angry, some irritable, some negative, some positive, some hopeful, some desperate etc. I am sure you, the reader, have also encountered all kinds of people in your lives. I have also had different kinds of experiences – some joyful, some dreadful, some fearful, some worrying, some frustrating etc. just as many of you would have.

I wonder why we go through such encounters and experiences. Is it just a part of life or does it have any meaning? When I reflect upon this question and also my own actions / reactions to different folks and situations, I realise that these are indeed presented to me for a purpose. I believe each situation is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and to improve as individuals.

In fact, I strongly feel that our life here on earth is one big test posed on us by God. People who do well in the test get positive results and others get an opportunity to face the test again. The good thing about the test is that we keep getting a chance to re-appear and there are no failures. We keep getting exposed to various challenging situations until we learn how to deal with it. Life itself is the teacher and is also the test.

As long as we have negative traits / thoughts / view points within us, we will react to situations incorrectly and be faced with unwelcome consequences. As long as we are positive oriented, we will experience pleasant situations and be filled with peace and bliss. The sooner we learn and practice this, the sooner we will reach our final destinations.

Fare well!!

Become immortal

One of humankind’s biggest obsessions is to become immortal. From time immemorial, we have had various people trying to increase longevity. Indian mythology is full of stories of people who have undergone severe penances to achieve this goal. Most of the people have been failures in this quest.

It also seems pointless to become immortal when we are living in a body subject to various ailments and illness. With a no-so-perfect physical body, it would seem that it is better to die than live on forever. As we grow older, our bodies steadily decay and deteriorate. Our sense organs begin to fail. Under such circumstances, would not death be a welcome state to progress into?

Despite this, our scientists want to fight nature and work on increasing the youth span as well as life itself. Very few people appreciate death. Very few realise that death is a natural way of the renewal process. Life is sustained and re-created only due to the certainty of death.

Yet, there is a way to become immortal. We become immortal when we lead lives that are perfect in every way; when we epitomise values in every breath of ours; when people look up to us to show the right way; when our lives are shining examples of love, compassion, selflessness, truthfulness and integrity.

The world will forever remember people who stood steadfast in the midst of adversity to uphold values. The legendary child Prahalad, the son of demon King Hiranyakashipu, despite being threatened with death did not forsake His Lord. Raja Harishchandra protected truth and honesty despite immense suffering. Mother Sita suffered for long but upheld her loyalty and commitment to her Lord Rama. There are many such inspiring and powerful stories of how people became immortal through their display of sterling characters.

We too can become immortal in this manner. All we need to do is to uphold values at all or any cost.

Recognise your enemy

"One of the most time-consuming things is to have an enemy" - E.B. White

Most of us would love to have a life without enemies. In fact, we go to great lengths to make friends and be happy. We read books on “How to win friends and influence people”. We dread the thought of having an enemy who is out to destroy our peace and success. If we were asked to think of and name our enemy, quite a few names might pop up in our minds. Some of us would go to great lengths to make a list and might even include anyone who has even slightly disagreed with us.

Not all are our enemies though. In fact, we are usually surrounded by well-wishers who wish to see us happy and fulfilled. People who criticise us are actually intending to correct us and guide us in the right path. People who punish us have similar motives. Come to think of it, every misfortune that we face is actually helping us become better human beings and more matured. Each experience is a lesson for us in our evolution process.

If that were so, do we really have any enemies? I would say that there is one enemy who is so close to us that we fail to recognise or realise him. That enemy is our own ego. Our ego is really our enemy because it is the one which makes us “difficult” people. Our ego stops us from having selfless and loving relationships. It is our ego which creates greed, envy, hatred, anger and all such negative emotions within us.

If only we realise this and shed our ego, we would be rid of the biggest enemy in our lives and progress much faster towards our goals. We would become less conscious of ourselves, less conceited, less inhibited and more positive in our lives. Recognise this and you become free!!

If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner - Nelson Mandela

Be Positive

At any and every point of time in our lives, we are faced with circumstances which have both positive and negative connotations. For example, I have just got a promotion means higher level, larger role, bigger pay (positives) and also means higher responsibilities, more work, bigger targets (not so positive).

At every given point of time, we are also faced with a mix of events some of which are happy and some not so happy. For example, I just got a new cell phone (happy) and I lost / misplaced my favourite pen (not so happy). So, life is a big mix of high & low feelings and emotions.

The moot question is - what do we focus on? If we are the proverbial optimists, we tend to see the brighter side of things almost always. If, however, we are pessimists we tend to see the half empty glass. It is true that it takes all kinds to make the world go around and it is also true that there is a place under the sun for everyone.

Yet, there is a strong case for being positive. Positive people are cheerful and spread positive energy. They make the most of every moment. Life seems so lively when we are around them. Their spirits never go down and they are always full of hope. Such people have better health and happiness quotient. They also have better relationships with others. People just love to have them around.

Being positive does not mean one should be unrealistic. It is not meant to ignore problems or issues. It is just an attitude where the solution gets precedence over the problem and mind refuses to dwell on pain. It is a mindset where one accepts unwelcome events or situations without being overwhelmed by it. It is a reflection of confidence in ones own abilities as well as faith in the Almighty.

"A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug" - Patricia Neal

"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results."
- Anonymous

Inculcating values in children

A friend asked me this question and it set me pondering "How can we inculcate values into our children?"

After some introspection, I thought of a few ways by which this can be effectively done and I give them below.

Start Early - The younger a child is, the better it is to mould them as per our desires. Their minds are still flexible and open to learning. The kind of exposure they get as infants really sets the course for their lives. The younger a child is, the easier it is to get her time. As they start growing up, they find lesser and lesser time for parents. Young kids often seem eager to listen to stories and what better way to introduce values through simple and interesting stories? Besides stories, one can also do simple course corrections in day to day life too. For example, if you catch them lying / stealing / being dishonest, you can use the occasion to help them understand the importance of values.

Set Examples - Children tend to mimic their parents. If the parents are always smiling and cheerful, the child tends to be like that. If the parents are grouchy or serious, the child becomes that too. It is not merely genetics at play here. It is also the overpowering influence of someone the child looks up to. So, if we want our child to be less aggressive, for instance, we need to display that behaviour too. No point in using threats to change an aggressive behaviour - that will be counterproductive. We cannot scream at a child and say "STOP SCREAMING". The child learns to be quiet if we show her how. We cannot also ask the child to lie when it is convenient for us - for example, "Tell them I am not at home" when you want to avoid a phone call, gives a subtle message to the child that it is OK to lie.

Praise openly - There are many occasions when the child displays good behaviour. Make her feel special whenever she does well. Let her realise that good behaviour leads to instant acknowledgement and positive strokes. Tell everyone around, and within her hearing, of your joy and pride on her positive behaviour. Create a self image in her mind that will encourage her to make values an integral part of her character. Giving a gift / reward for positive behaviour may not be sustainable nor is it the right thing to do.

Counsel mildly - There would be occasions when the child falters and it is the responsibility of every parent to counsel the child. The method of counselling would have to be mild. It cannot be done by using force, threats or even punishment. The child should be made to realise through a soft discussion on the consequences of not practicing values. Old stories may be repeated and used for reinforcing. The whole effort would have to be to get the commitment from the child to be better in future. We should realise that no one is perfect and that everyone deserves a chance to improve and evolve.

Make Rules - It is easy to form habits when one is young and something is repeated frequently. There are many simple values that can be built in our children if we have simple rules in force. For example, we can have rules of etiquette to be followed religiously - Saying "please", "Thank you", talking softly and smiling often can all be programmed in children at an early age.

Right environment – For a child to inculcate values, it is important for her to grow up in the right environment. Parents can help in this process significantly. Is she having the right kind of friends? Is she having the right kind of activities? Is the school right for this? Is she staying in the right locality? Is she watching the right kind of programs? All of these are factors which have direct / indirect influences on her character. Choosy parents will make sure that every aspect is attended to and that there are no negative influences coming her way.

Shower Trust – One important dimension that parents should remember is to trust their child. They should explicitly and implicitly tell the child that they trust her fully. They should never be seen as probing too deeply and checking every single thing minutely. This is especially true as the child reaches adolescence. Otherwise, it might cause the child to rebel and display opposite behaviour.

The above points are not necessarily comprehensive. I am sure readers will have more suggestions and thoughts on this topic. I welcome your thoughts which will add value to this note and help in inculcating values in our children and through this process make our society a happier place to live in.

Being Indifferent

There was once a guy who was searching for a spiritual Guru and was keen to get an Upadesh (or spiritual advice)from such a Guru. One fine day, a renowned Guru was camping near his town and so he went to visiting. The Guru usually observed a vow of silence and would not speak with anyone. When this guy went near the Guru and asked his for the Upadesh, the Guru spoke two words "Chuuma Iru" in Tamil which meant "Keep quiet".

Normal people would take this as an admonition and may sulk. However, so intense was this desire of this devotee that he literally accepted the Guru's words as gospel and started observing a vow of silence himself. Over a period of time, his observation skills shot up sharply. He also slowly started withdrawing into himself as his conversations with others had ended.

Over a period of time, he became what a true Yogi aspires to be. He started observing things with a disinterested eye and witnessed events without getting involved. He realised through personal experience that the world is like a stage with different people playing different roles. Different event occurred unexpectedly just as it would in a interesting play. He realised, in his mind, that nothing is permanent and there is no point getting attached to things. Just as the waves which rise and fall again in the mighty ocean, thoughts come and go, possessions come and go, friends come and go...

His mind became peaceful and balanced. Nothing disturbed his equilibrium and calm state of mind. Soon he too became sought after as a Guru.

This real story shows us a path to realise our life's purpose. We too can cultivate an attitude of indifference in ourselves. We too can withdraw ourselves from the overpowering attraction of the world and start seeking inwards. We too can use our senses for the right purposes only and not misuse it for indulging ourselves.

Of course, this path is not easy and not for every one. One practicing it will find people mistrusting and unhappy with this approach. One can be accused of hypocrisy. One way to reach this stage is to practice meditation earnestly. If we can learn to be indifferent at all times and in all eventualities, we will certainly find peace.

Moderation, which consists in an indifference about little things, and in a prudent and well proportioned zeal about things of importance, can proceed from nothing but true knowledge, which has its foundation in self acquaintance. – Plato

Living in harmony

A movie I saw recently called the "The boy who wore stripped pyjamas" disturbed me greatly. The movie deals with the subject of Nazi cruelty to Jews seen from the eyes of an innocent 8 year old son of a Nazi commander. It shows how everyone was brainwashed into believing that Jews were oppressive, destructive etc. and also how Jews were not really people but a different kind of creature. People who had difference of opinion were dealt with severely till everyone fell in line with the central thinking.

Even to this day, a similar kind of tragedy, torture and killing is happening. The only difference is that we are now dealing with birds, animals, aquatic creatures etc. In the name of food processing industry huge amount of creatures are killed every day in the most inhuman manner. It is as if the poor animals do not have any right to life or dignity.

Most people who eat meat do not think about the suffering that the animals have to go through in order to become food on their table. The animals are bred and fed in very filthy environments. They are injected with drugs to make them grow abnormally. They are castrated in a brutal manner. Their body parts are chopped while still alive ignoring the pain that they undergo.

Some questions we seriously need to ask ourselves is - Are we really human? If yes, how do we allow / encourage such actions? How do we choose to act ignorant and look the other way when such acts are committed? Do we not care about the pain of the other creatures? How can we think of feeding ourselves by causing so much pain around?

This is not just about our eating habits. I have often seen speeding cars knock down animals on the road and going away without even a backward glance. It is as if the lives of other creatures do not matter. As if it is OK if they are injured, hurt or bleeding. There are very few people who care about the lives of others, especially other creatures.

We should recognise the Lord Almighty in every living being. We should be gentle and kind to all creatures. Even if we cannot go out of the way to feed them and take care of them, the least we can do is to refrain from harming them. Together we can make this world a better place. A place where every creature has a rightful place and role to play. A place where everyone is kind and gentle towards all creatures.

Let’s live in harmony and joy.

Confess to progress

One of the aspects of Christianity that I love is the practice of confessing our sins. Within ourselves, it is easy to know when we have sinful thoughts or have committed sins. It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge and even more guts to admit it to someone else. Someone who has taken the step of confessing is surely on the right path to becoming a better person for she has recognised her sin, admitted it and resolved to rectify.

Confession is good for various reasons some of which are listed below:
1. It takes the load off the mind
2. It is the first positive step in self-improvement
3. It is an open declaration of one's resolve
4. It enhances the value of honesty which paves the way for other values to creep in and establish their presence

The act of confession by itself does not atone for sins. One should not carry an impression that confession "clears the slate" and permits one to sin again. It should not be treated as a ritual which needs to be completed after every sin. The very purpose of confession seems to be to make a strong resolution to avoid similar sins in future. It is like making a public declaration of our intentions to be better human beings.

We are all human and are prone to sinning (a) consciously or unconsciously (b) physically or mentally. We can reach the ultimate goal of divinity only when we are able to cleanse ourselves of sins. By sinning surreptitiously and projecting a clean image to the world, we are only fooling ourselves. People who strive to become better human beings and spiritually evolved would recognise the tremendous power of confessions.

Confess to progress