Thursday, August 12, 2010

The perfect life-partner

One of the reasons why all of us choose life-partners (LP) is because we feel incomplete. We feel that if we have a LP our cup of joy will overflow and we will find the bliss and the peace that we seek. All of us also want a perfect LP- perfect in all senses of the world. Someone who is fun to be with, someone who is good looking, someone who shares our philosophy, someone who is healthy and has good habits, someone with whom we can be ourselves etc. etc.

We therefore choose our LP with a lot of expectations and, alas, we soon discover that our LP is not as perfect as we thought or sought. We start noticing little and subtle differences and over time these can lead to major differences. Even if one does stay together, the feeling of incompleteness remains. Some people then begin to stray or drifting apart or even start looking around.

Actually, our minds are fickle - what seems good at one moment seems poor at another moment, only because the circumstances or our expectations have changed for e.g. when it is hot and sultry, we enjoy a good downpour but we start hating the same downpour if it comes in the way of our outing.

Most of the imperfections that we see are due to our own imperfections and inability to accept reality. If we are a type who sees the negatives more than the positive, we are bound to have disappointments with our LP. Instead, we should focus on the brighter aspects of our LP and ignore everything else.

Life is a mirror. It is like an echo which returns whatever we send forth. If we smile at others they smile back. If we are the silent types, people stop making conversation with us. We should therefore focus on changing ourselves to see a positive impact on our LP.

We should realise that no one is perfect. Life is all about accepting the imperfections and adjusting with it and enjoying it.

If at all we are really seeking the perfect LP, we should choose the Lord Almighty as the LP. The very definition of the Lord is that He is perfect in all respects. In terms of physical attributes, He is the most attractive. In terms of talent or knowledge, no one can beat Him. In strength, He is all powerful. He has no ego. He has no expectations from us and accepts us as we are. Moreover, He is permanent and always with us.

Our lives would become fulfilled if we choose to have Him as our life-partner.

6 comments:

Ashwin said...

bro...simply beautiful! One point i'd like to add..wat is perfect? Wat is perfection? There is no straight answer to this..wat may be perfect to one person may be imperfect to another..perfection basically means how the object aligns with our expectations and desire..just like how a key goes in a lock and clicks it open..so wat makes a relationship click!? We need to find a key to our locks!

Vasant Prabhu said...

Psalm 23 of the Bible says ' the lord is my shepherd'...and as you put it he is also the perfect partner in the journey of life

Sonal Raisinghani said...

Dear Sir,

3 points here:
Defining a perfect life partner
Indifference's between the so called Life Partners
Considering Lord as Life Partner

Let me discuss them one by one:

1) Defining a perfect life Partner : A big question indeed.... What is perfect.. It depends on the individual. If for any individual Perfectness is the outer appearance of the person then I should say what ever you have said in your blog is correct.. Its a temporary phase.. Its a fascination ... Very soon it will be lost and differences of opinions start propping up.
When you say you have found a perfect life partner you are entering into a commitment for lifetime. And as said in the movie Mohabattein " Jab Kisi se pyar karo to woh jaise hai waise karo....agar koi kisi ko badal ke pyar kare toh woh pyar nahi sauda kare, Aur Sahebaan pyar mein kabhi Sauda nahi hota" There could be disputes after you move further in your commitments , but its the maturity with which you settle those disputes and how strong is your commitment for the other partner is all that matters the most...
Marriage is a lifetime 100% commitment made to the other partner in presence of God the Almighty. When you start drifting from your commitments you are disrespecting your own self..and the lord too who has blessed you at the beginning of the relationship...

( Well this could be my fascination since I am still not married- Finding Mr Right Still you see)
But I would say beauty is in the heart and not physical appearance... All that glitters is not gold....!

2) Indifference's between the so called life partners:
We all drive a vehicle.. Can you imagine all the four wheels of the car moving in four different directions... Can a car run.?. Definitely no.. Similarly A man and a woman ( life partners what we call here) together have to work in harmony to bring peace at home or else there would be disputes in the family and children would be the sufferers. There can be situations when you have to forget your ego and massage the ego of the other partner... but then rather than feeling hurt we have to think positive.. Think of the positives within the person. The positive side when the other partner has done the same thing. ( Humans can never be 100 % perfect you see)
Forget the negatives ( which i understand is difficult to forget ), But learn to forgive.. Forgiveness is the greatest virtue...

3) Considering Lord as life partner : Definitely no !! Lord can be your guiding light.. He is formless and omnipresent : He is also within each individual in the form of his soul. Considering a imaginary figure as GOD and then name him your life partner is what I believe like running away from your worldly duties.. Did Lord ShriRam say that goddrssLaxmi is my wife and I shall not marry her worldly form which is Sita.. They too married during their life cycle on earth.. So is everyone expected to do to keep the Human Life Cycle on.
Since lord has made you a Human being with a purpose .. Man and Woman are supposed to play their individuals roles and keep this life cycle on.. Running away from the same would be cowardly...


This is how I view things..

V Rakesh said...

Wonderful post Sir! One indeed needs to be blessed to have the right life-partner, the result of which is happiness unparalleled. But as you know very well, happiness needs to be worked hard for and cannot be achieved without long absences of it!

Perhaps, that is why Robert A. Heinlein said that "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." :)

Latha Nair said...

As with everything in life,
getting/being the near-perfect
life partner too is a lot of
hard work and a bit of luck

Anonymous said...

Life is simple but not easy and its not always a bed of roses.It is the life partner who actually makes life complete..No person is perfect on this earth.So to expect a perfect life partner is next to impossible..Hence we need to adjust to each others shortfalls, and learn to enjoy life..!!

Tyaagi