Sunday, November 15, 2009

Hit the pause button !

Have you noticed people who are outspoken? They tend to speak the first thing that comes to their mind. In a way, it is a good thing whereby people around them know exactly what they think. In many ways, it is a weakness because blurting out thoughts without thinking about its effect is really foolish. I am one such guy.

It is not just in moments of anger or emotion that I do this. Even in normal situations, I feel kind of compelled to spell out my thoughts. Maybe it is a need to be honest and truthful that drives me to this. Maybe it is a desire to get straight to the point without beating around the bush. In any case, I have suffered and caused much suffering to happen with this trait of mine.

Intuitively I know that it makes sense to push the "pause" button before I speak. When the pause button is pushed, it gives us time to think over what we are going to speak. We can re-frame our words to make it sound more agreeable and acceptable. It can help us to not speak if we realise that our words are going to hurt.

People will not mistake us if we speak or react slowly. Even if they do, it is OK. Better to be thought of a slow or a dull person than a rude or a brash person. When we pause and speak words that sound smart, soft and sweet, people will forgive us for speaking late or slow. We may even appear to be intelligent and thoughtful.

Do you agree?


shri ramesh sadasivam said...

//He did not let his feelings appear
outwardly. He kept his thoughts to himself.//

This is from the qualities of Lord Rama.

Of course I agree, without a doubt.

Even Marlon Brando says this in Godfather. :)

Anonymous said...

Speaking our mind in public is good provided our opinions are taken in the right way.Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak..
But sometimes it is wise to think twice before we speak even if our intentions are truthful and honest because our impulsive words are likely to be mistaken by others which may cause us a lot of anguish..


Rakesh Vanamali said...

Sir - this reminds me of myself! I am quite the same, often speaking my mind and being undiplomatic! Am learning to calm myself and remain at ease and not jump the gun!

As they so rightly say - its better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and be proven one!


One of the several important things I learnt from my mentor was to control the response and never to take decisions at the spur of the moment – especially when dealing with defaulting customers or when the stakes are high.

Completely agree with your analysis that it is the urge to be completely truthful and transparent that we are unable to take our time.

Amritbir Kaur said...

The way you interpreted this quality of yours to being honest was wonderful...I wish more people were honest in their expressions! People are not always ready to listen to the truth, so even if they use the term 'rash' is just because they can't accept their own defeat and want to blame the other person...spontaneity is good but yes sometimes we need to use the pause button too, may be for good of others...a nice and thought provoking post..may be that's why I was tempted to write so much (actually I had to cut short my stream of thoughts).. :)

Anya said...


Yesssss I hit the button !!!

manivannan said...

This is a wonderful post Vish. We must really think before we speak! For, words spoken once cannot be taken back.

Also, I liked the catchy heading of the post. I'm sure it will serve as a reminder :-)


Cyrus Rumi said...

Beautifully expressed...a great quality to have...

You have a great day, brother!:)



anupama said...

Dear Vish,
Good Evening!
Hey,how could you portray me so well?I have suffered a lot,many relations were strained and I started learning the precious values of lessons!
Vish,I have written a post-Look Before You Leap!
the truth may not be always sweet!but it can be presented in a gentle way!
but then it is since long I have heard your soft,smart n sweet words.:)what we preach should be practised,nah?
wishing you a wonderful week ahead,

sita said...

Too good. I fully agree with You.

Think twice before we speak.

Sonal Raisinghani said...

I too am a similar kind of person. Instantly speaking out my mind. I totally agree with you - Its important to learn to press the pause button.