Just Be Nice

"Be nice to everyone you come across; you never know whose help or support you will need tomorrow"

We interact with numerous people in our daily lives. With people who matter or who are important or powerful, we are naturally polite and courteous. The true revelation of our inner character is our behaviour with people who do not matter. Are we nice to them too? Or do we disregard them and their self-respect when we speak or interact with them?

It takes very little effort to be nice to everyone around us. Even if have to convey our displeasure over something that the other person has done, we can do it in a nice manner. Let us not worry that we will be ineffective if we are humble or gentle. Rather, people will respond to us better if our behaviour conveys respect to them.

When we are nice to people, we are nice to ourselves too. It has positive spin off effect on our health too. Our faces have fewer wrinkles and begin to glow. We create an aura of attractiveness around us when we are pleasant and nice. We win more friends and well wishers. And who knows when one of these people will come to our support when we need it most?

Come on and show to the world your gentle side. Let people around you bask in the warmth of your company. Just be nice - always!!

Be Positive

At any and every point of time in our lives, we are faced with circumstances which have both positive and negative connotations. For example, I have just got a promotion means higher level, larger role, bigger pay (positives) and also means higher responsibilities, more work, bigger targets (not so positive).

At every given point of time, we are also faced with a mix of events some of which are happy and some not so happy. For example, I just got a new cell phone (happy) and I lost / misplaced my favourite pen (not so happy). So, life is a big mix of high & low feelings and emotions.

The moot question is - what do we focus on? If we are the proverbial optimists, we tend to see the brighter side of things almost always. If, however, we are pessimists we tend to see the half empty glass. It is true that it takes all kinds to make the world go around and it is also true that there is a place under the sun for everyone.

Yet, there is a strong case for being positive. Positive people are cheerful and spread positive energy. They make the most of every moment. Life seems so lively when we are around them. Their spirits never go down and they are always full of hope. Such people have better health and happiness quotient. They also have better relationships with others. People just love to have them around.

Being positive does not mean one should be unrealistic. It is not meant to ignore problems or issues. It is just an attitude where the solution gets precedence over the problem and mind refuses to dwell on pain. It is a mindset where one accepts unwelcome events or situations without being overwhelmed by it. It is a reflection of confidence in ones own abilities as well as faith in the Almighty.

"A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug" - Patricia Neal

"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results."
- Anonymous

Enjoy your present

A class of spiritual aspirants were once asked to list down their most happy moments. People wrote about their happiness on graduating, on marriage, on meeting a long lost friend, a picnic, a game etc. Some even wrote on their anticipated happiness events on awaiting a child, a forthcoming foreign holiday, a new job etc.

All of us follow this practice - looking back with joy and nostalgia or looking forward in pleasure to a planned / unplanned event of joy in our lives. Even for the most well endowed & gifted person, who never has faced a disappointment in life, it seems as though that joy is a past / future event.

Of course, we all do have our joyous moments too when we are conscious of the feeling of bliss and satisfaction. Take for example, winning a game or getting a promotion. At that point of time, we become truly happy and want to share the news as well as the joy with everyone around. And we can't stop smiling.

Most of the time, however, the pleasure of the moment is lost on us. For e.g. if we remember our school days, we sigh and wish we could re-live those years. But whilst in school we were keen to grow up and join college. Similarly, if we think of a holiday, we relish the memories. But whilst in the holiday, worries about safety, security, budget, health etc. were eating our minds...

In reality, every moment is a moment of joy - often realised only too late.

If we can realise this great secret and start appreciating our present moments, our lives would be more fulfilling indeed. Enjoy your present. Bask in gratitude for the things that you have in life. Share with others less privileged. Smile often. Spread the message of joy with everyone around. Think positive. Create lovely memories whilst living joyously.

Three C's to avoid

Peace of mind is something that we all crave for. We cannot achieve this state without putting effort. After all, peace of mind is not something that can be procured by spending money or by force. The mind needs to be balanced and in equilibrium before it can reach that state. For the mind to be balanced, we have several 'dos' and 'don’ts' to follow. Given below are three 'don’ts' which go a long way to achieve that state. They are described as the three Cs.

Criticizing: The first C is criticizing. It is one of the most natural talents that we all have. Our minds seem to be tuned to find fault and spot blemishes. Many a times, we see problems where none exist. It is as if our minds have the uncanny knack of identifying a problem. At the same time, our tongues are eager to let others know of our 'superiority' in being able to articulate those problems. When we criticize thus, unnecessarily, we are unknowingly building resistance as well as enemies. These lead to unwarranted arguments and attempts to prove a point. Moreover, our minds which get clouded in negativity refuse to let us reach the state of equilibrium.

Complaining: The other C is similar to the first C and yet more damaging. Complaining is taking criticism to a higher level and almost results in condemning others. As long as it is constructive in nature and comes with intent to resolve and rectify, it is still bearable. What takes the cake is complaining which sounds like whining. It is other extreme of appreciating. It creates a huge negative whirlpool from which we are unable to extricate ourselves. We also carry the feelings of hurt and annoyance in our minds which prevents us from experiencing bliss.

Comparing: Another C which we seem to be unable to avoid is the comparison bug. It is almost like a virus which is in the air. Many of us are comparing all the time - ourselves with those around us. It could be about anything - wealth, friends, physique, job, dogs, appliances etc. It gives us momentary pleasure when we see others in a worse situation than us and also give us sleepless nights when we see others enjoying more than us. Comparison is a never ending maze where people get lost and unable to recover their bearings. It is a method of inventing joy / sorrow out of nothing.

These three Cs are best avoided and conscious efforts taken to prevent ourselves from getting entrapped here. It would be a good idea to ask one of our close spiritual friends to help us in the process. If someone were to remind us each time we use these Cs, it will help us tremendously in making course corrections. Over time, we might become habituated to completely avoid them and progress towards the much coveted state of peace in our minds.

Be a role model

Each one of us is good at giving advice. We tell our children to be obedient, have pleasing manners, be disciplined etc. We tell our juniors at work to be punctual, focused, over-achieve etc. We tell our spouses to be balanced, mature, cool etc. We tell our neighbours to be friendly, helpful etc. Our expectations from others always borders on perfection.

Ever wondered what the expectations of others are? They expect us to be perfect too. At the very minimum, they expect us to practice what we preach and "walk the talk". It would seem too far fetched if we demonstrate some behaviour and expect a contrary behaviour from others. For example, if we were to be short tempered ourselves, how can we expect our children, spouse or neighbour to be any different?

If we strive for perfection ourselves, without worrying about others, we might soon end up becoming a role model for others. People might start looking up at us and emulating us. We might create the change that we wish to see merely by adopting it in ourselves. What greater achievement can there be when we have conquered ourselves and, in the process, unleashing a wave of change around us?

The world, that we perceive, is merely a reflection of ourselves. If we are filled with positive thoughts and emotions, we will see a wonderful world around us. Every moment will become a moment of joy and every person an angel from heaven. All we need to do is to adjust our lens and improve ourselves.

Be a role model in your circle of influence. Embrace a life of values.

On Sensitivity

I was driving with a friend one day when we came across a strange spectacle. By the roadside, we saw a person seemingly crazy or drunk, throwing rubbish on passing cars. When our car neared her, she threw some garbage on our car too. Although our windows were rolled up, we instinctively ducked. Then, my friend got worked up and started scolding the mad woman from inside the car. I did not stop the car and drove on.

Later, my friend, in a pensive mood said "I was stupid to react. Knowing fully well that the person was not in her senses and that there was no point in trying to reform her, I should have been more cool."

This is a common occurrence in our lives. Whatever we do or don't, there are always people criticising us. Some will be constructive while some will be downright lies or false allegations. Why should we let this this ruffle us? It will be foolish to expect nothing but praise from others. There are many who relish rubbishing others and imagine that it makes them superior. If we have a clear conscience and heart, nothing should disturb our equilibrium. We should learn the art of avoiding being too sensitive.

Why do we tend to deem it necessary to react to every provocation, every comment, every thing that disturbs us? In a way, we are trying to do the impossible here - to change the world to suit us. In a way, we are showing our insecurities and our lack of confidence in ourselves when we feel upset or sensitive to things that hurt us.

We display maturity when we allow others to criticise or comment negatively without getting upset.

Universal love without attachments

Universal love is prevalent when one loves everything in the universe. One is filled with a deep sense of affection for everyone and everything. One forgets differences and sees / recognises the same Almighty creator everywhere. The feeling of love is so strong that one wants to sacrifice everything to spread happiness all around. One is seeking nothing for oneself and is completely selfless.

For such a person, there is no enemy and there is no competitor. There is no one to feel afraid of or threatened by. There is no apprehension nor any anticipation. Whether it is another individual or another being, the feeling of love is just the same. Only such a person has true wisdom and knowledge who sees uniformity in diversity.

Yes this mood or this frame of mind can be created by each one of us. It is not impractical or unrealistic. So many holy souls have demonstrated that this is possible. Divine souls like Sai Baba of Shiridi and Jesus Christ have retained this frame of mind even in the most trying of circumstances.

If we look at nature, we find that she is full of love and giving. The sun gives abundant sunshine without making any distinctions, the winds serve to cool things when its gets hot, the earth bears huge amounts of stress without complaints, the trees give shade, fruits, wood etc. Everything in nature is designed to love and sacrifice.

Yet when one loves, one should love without a sense of attachment. Any feelings of attachment ends us diluting love and starts creating expectations. One can be dispassionate only when the sense of attachment is removed. When we love with attachment, we are giving conditional love. Attachment is in reality a manifestation of our ego. With attachment comes disappointment, anger, frustration etc.

People with such a state of mind are rare indeed. They immediately attract the attention of followers and devotees. Even though they desire nothing for themselves, others respond to them with the same intensity of love. Even animals, birds and aquatic creatures approach them without fear or any other negative emotions. Such people have only friends and dear ones wherever they go.

Even though this seems like an impossibility, one should strive to attain this mindset. One can start in a small way with immediate family and neighbours and then slowly extend this to others. Initially there will be hiccups and obstacles, but if one is enlightened & determined and is able to course correct, over a period of time one can, if one so desires, reach this state of bliss and never ending happiness.

Effort Or Destiny

Does man enjoy success through efforts or is it based on fate / destiny? This is one question that has been debated throughout the world endlessly from time immemorial without reaching any definite conclusions.

There are a set of people who swear by effort and action orientation. The firmly believe that our destiny is in our hands and it is we who can make things happen by having a firm resolve and by taking affirmative actions. They believe in taking charge, planning well and executing right. They feel people who talk about destiny are either cowards or lazy people.

On the other hand, there are people whose experience tells them that there is a larger power which controls things and that things do not always happen the way they are intended to. How else can one explain luck? Or love? Or unplanned events like accidents? There are many people who aspire and study for one profession (like me) and end up in professions very different.

One cannot deny that there is a larger power which makes things happen in ways which are unpredictable. "Man proposes, God disposes" goes an old saying. No wonder then many people use prayer as a method of connecting to and appease that higher power. Yet, it does not seem right to become complacent and give up all efforts and leave things to destiny.

Both the person who swears by effort and the person who leaves things to destiny are subject to disappointments. Sometimes, sincere and focused efforts end up in failures due to extraneous and uncontrollable factors. Similarly, sometimes prayers go unanswered and lead to frustrations. Efforts are necessary to make the world function. If everyone was to leave things to destiny, there would be no bread on the table and no clothes to wear.

Perhaps the right approach would be continue making plans and taking efforts tirelessly while being prepared for unexpected results. This is what Lord Krishna preached in Bhagvad Gita when he said "Do you Duty without getting attached to the results".

What do you think?

Flexibility - To be or not to be

Sometimes in life we face a difficult situation. Imagine, we have given an opinion about something or have taken a decision. Then, we are confronted by an alternate view or course of action. On top of it, the alternative looks logical or is backed by someone influential. Some of us will readily consider the option and change our stance. Many of us, worry about the consequences of changing our position. We feel that we will end up looking hasty or not intelligent enough if we change our minds.

Flexibility is something that most of us advocate or recommend but when it comes to ourselves, we prefer to be otherwise. What we call as firm mind is seen as and branded as 'stubborn' by others. Inflexible people are seen as closed minded people who have a difficulty in accepting fresh thoughts or ideas. To avoid this, some people (esp. politicians) cleverly refuse to reveal their thoughts till everyone's thoughts are known.

When we are flexible and accomodative, people find it comfortable to deal with us. We have better relationship with our family and friends. Our circle of influence increases and we tend to attract more open communication. We tend to listen with empathy and do not get into 'positions' from where we cannot extract ourselves. Flexible people are solution oriented and want to move forward rather than getting stuck with issues.

There are some situations where flexibility ceases to be a virtue. When we have made a commitment or a promise, we cannot show flexibility in the performance. When it come to a question of values, one should never show flexibility even if it results in us losing out in the short term.

A lot of pressure and stress is generated when values are upheld. Lot of people avoid this and try to take the easy way out. Rather than fight for the truth and pay the price for it, people tend to compromise and dilute standards. Such an approach might look easy and positive in the short term but will have significant impact on the longer term. The sub-prime crisis that hit the world economy in 2008 is a clear and recent example of this.

Flexibility is a virtue except on questions of values.

Laugh a lot

As children, we used to laugh a lot. Every small thing seemed funny and tickled our funny bones. Whether it was the way someone dressed or the way someone spoke, we would find everything funny. And yet our laughter was very innocent and not the least malicious. In fact, our laughter was also infectious as it made others also smile and laugh along with us. In this manner, we ourselves were happy and created a happy world around us.

As we grew older and 'wiser', we started taking things more seriously. We started becoming more analytical and skeptical. Some of us even became cynical. We started smiling less and scowling more. Things that once made us laugh now seemed silly and childish. Some of us even show our 'maturity' by controlling our laughter. We feel that people may take advantage of us if we laugh too much or too often.

Laughing is healthy. The amount of stress that we adults accumulate in our day to day lives needs to be released. Laughter is probably the best and the cheapest way to do it and have fun at the same time. No wonder then that laughter clubs are mushrooming all over. All the pent up frustration and suppressed laughter are released in these clubs without any inhibitions. People feel relaxed after a good round of laughter.
However, it is not necessary to join a club to laugh. It only needs a tweak in our attitude and approach. We can literally laugh our way to good health. When we laugh our body generates and releases a lot of positive and good enzymes which not only makes us feel good but also healthy.

On a different level also, laughter makes sense. If we reflect on this world and all its ups and downs, one can really feel like laughing. Realise that everything around us is temporary and neither good nor bad situations will last forever. Therefore, when life does seem stressful, use this understanding to laugh your troubles away. People who have reached the pinnacle of knowledge will tend to laugh at every situation.

"Laughter is a tranquilliser with no side effects" - Arnold Glasow

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people" – Victor Borge

"Between the laughing and the weeping philosopher there is no opposition: the same facts that make one laugh makes one weep" - George Santayana

"A young man who has not wept is a savage and the old man who will not laugh is a fool" – Confucious

Praise me not

In the Srimad Bhagvatam, there is a story of a King called Prithu who ruled the world . He was considered as an avatar or part incarnation of the Lord Himself. The earth was barren then and it was this king who forced the earth to yield food grains, fruits etc. The earth is called Prithvi (in Sanskrit) because of this king. When his subjects, in their joy, came to sing his praises this is what he had to say "Praise me not".

"Praises, while they sound pleasing to the ears, are actually slow / sweet poison. People generally tend to go overboard when praising someone and it soon takes the flavour of flattery. The person being praised gets carried away and starts believing what others say about him. This leads him into a kind of fools paradise where he starts living in an imaginary world."

"Rather than praise, tell me what are my shortcomings. Help me to identify defects which I may tend to overlook or ignore. If you really care for me, tell me how I can be a better human being, a better leader and a better person. Do not lull me into a sense of complacency by speaking positive words. I know fully well that I am imperfect and help me to progress towards perfection."

What a wonderful lesson for each one of us!!

Most of us seek the exact opposite. We crave for positive strokes. We hate critics and criticism. Perhaps we do not have the strength of character, self confidence or mental toughness to face the negative feedback. However, if we cultivate this attitude and welcome criticism and shun praise we could become great indeed.

"Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it." Hank Ketcham

"If you are not criticized , you may not be doing much" Donald Rumnsfeld

Not mine, not mine

There was once a jobless poverty stricken man. He lived a difficult life on the charity of others and had little to call his own. He had very few friends. One day a friend offered him a tip to invest in a particular share in the stock market which was quoting at a very low price. So, this guy went around and borrowed some money and invested. Very soon the share price reached dizzy levels and he sold it to make a tidy profit after repaying the loan. Often after that he consulted his friend and made investments in the stock markets and in less than a year, he could call himself rich owning a nice house, car and a good holding of shares.

After that he became a regular in the stock markets. He spent his days watching the movements of share prices and his nights in luxury. There came a time when the value of his share holding reached a very high level and he was delirious with joy. Some time after that, the sub prime crisis erupted and the markets started crashing. He was optimistic and was hoping for the prices to recover. However, it kept going down each day making him desperate and miserable. On some days there would be a slight improvement and he would smile but then the prices would fall and he would frown.

In many ways, his happiness or sorrow seemed to be directly linked to the share prices. He had forgotten that he was once a pauper with nothing of his own. Now he felt that he was losing something.

In many ways we are like this man. A lot of us have days when we feel miserable. It could be triggered by a variety of causes like loss of something or someone precious, break up of a relationship, failure in something that we attempted to do, being unfairly treated by someone etc. When such a time comes, we react in a varied ways. Some of us go into a shell and refuse to communicate, some sob their hearts out, some find solace in sharing their misery with some trusted person, some drown their sorrows by resorting to artificial supplements like wine etc.

When we came into this world we came all alone with no possession and even when we leave this world it will be likewise. We will not be taking our wealth, our relations, our ambitions etc. with us. Everything emerges and dissolves in this earth. Our true happiness does not and should not depend on external matter / events. Ignorance is the root cause of all misery. If we think about it in a dispassionate manner nothing should really make us sad.

The mourning / celebration etc. are all a result of our minds. When we think something nice has happened or is going to happen, we feel happy and vice versa. So, our 'thinking' is really responsible for our state of mind. In other words, we can program our minds to think that everything is fine as it is. We need not worry, fret or fume about things. We can position ourselves as mere witness to the drama unfolding. We can choose to remain uninvolved and blissful.

We should think that we own nothing and that nothing belongs to us. We should keep repeating in our minds the mantra "Not mine, not mine" in order to slowly and steadily disassociate ourselves with everything. This will insulate us from sorrow without preventing us from enjoying what is available. We should treat life like how we go to an entertainment park. We should be aware that we are here for a short time and should learn to live life blissfully without clinging to it.

Thoughts on Equality

Every creature whether it is a human being, bird, animal, insect, fish etc. is made up of two essential elements. One is the body and the other is the soul / life within the body. The body of each being is clearly made up of the basic elements like water, earth, fire. The soul is more subtle and one cannot see it or feel it. However, we can presume that the soul is no different in each. Thus if we break down the substances that go to form each being, we can see that it is the same.

Thus, although the outward appearance is different each is the essentially the same. Yet, we believe that we are different, superior, inferior etc. We believe that we deserve to get higher share in things because we are human. We believe that the world is made only for our existence and enjoyment. Many of us care two hoots about the rights of other creatures or beings.

Within humans also we create artificial barriers and obstacles for others based on colour, religion, caste, creed, region etc. Due to our selfish motives, we expect the best for us and want the others to be satisfied with our left overs. Our ego always prompts us to fulfil needs of ourselves even if it is at the cost of depriving someone else.

Although everyone is equal and has equal rights, we are all different in terms of our capabilities and talents. It is not easily possible for anyone to become extraordinary in any field without certain inborn talents. Dedication, sincerity, perseverance and hard work can take us forward but without the inner spark, we may never move from good to great.

Similarly, there are certain roles that we are biologically programmed to do that can't be delegated or modified. For example, only women can bear children and that too, safely only during a certain period of their lives. Likewise, women are psychologically better equipped in the role of educating and grooming children to become responsible adults.

We see two extremes prevalent in the world. One is gross inequity in the treatment of humans and other creatures by people who are better endowed. The other extreme is the abuse the concepts of equality. If, in the name of equality, everyone wanted to be doing cushy jobs and have cushy lives, how will the world survive? For instance, the taxi driver cannot fly the aeroplane, the engineer cannot do a surgery and the cat cannot perform the role of a watchdog. Each one has to perform the role that one is best suited for.

While we work towards re-establishing a comprehensive equality mindset in this world, we should also work towards becoming mature, balanced and realistic in choosing and performing our respective roles.

"Having choices in life is a privilege. Making the right choices in life is a responsibility" - Anonymous

Greed is Evil

It has been almost a year since the terror attacks in Mumbai. It was a mindless display of hatred and violence against helpless and innocent civilians. The terrorist who was captured says he was instructed to create fear by killing as many people as he could while he was still alive and had ammunition. Many lives were lost and many more people were injured in the two days of carnage.

A question that comes up is how do we prevent such attacks in future and how do we create conditions for a peaceful life. Lot of talk and discussions have revolved around increasing the level of intelligence networking, patrolling, security forces and arming ourselves with superior weapons. Retaliatory attacks were also considered as a possible option.

While all of these may be good deterrents, they are by themselves not enough. Haven't we seen endless bouts of violence in some countries and regions? We know through history that permanent peace cannot be brought by violence or by suppression. An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world become blind, said Gandhiji. The solution to permanent peace lies elsewhere.

The root cause of most problems is greed. As long as greed exists, men will continue to seek more, acquire more and amass more. In modern world today, greed is considered as an acceptable behaviour. People think progress is linked to greed. It is not just the political leaders or the criminals who have greed. All of us can be accused of indulging in greed. The only difference, perhaps, could be in the methods used to satisfy our greed. Even nations sometimes display behaviour that originates in greed.

When the society thus allows greed to occupy a space, it starts manifesting itself in various ways. Come to think of it, we are all jostling each other to get a larger slice of the world's resources. Some do it subtly or by using their intelligence or talents. Some, who do not have these skills use other methods. Some use power and indulge in violence. The terrorists, in many ways, represent the cruder or crueler form of greed satisfaction. The objective of their greed is power and all that it can achieve.

The important question to ask ourselves would be whether greed should have a space in our society. If we say yes, we will continue to live in a dangerous world. And if the answer to this is negative, we should ponder on how to eradicate greed. How do we create conditions wherein greed is abolished from our hearts? How do we learn of be satisfied with what we have and not crave for what we have not? How do we make values-based-living (VBL) as the most popular and sought after lifestyle?

Any thoughts?

Innocence of a child

All of us love children. It does not matter whether it is our child or not. At the mere sight of a child, strangers start smiling at each other and the ice is broken. There is something very attractive in children. It could be their playful nature. It could be the joy that seems to fill them. It could be their low level of ego and self consciousness. It could be their ability to quickly forget pain and smile despite it. It could be their vulnerability. It could our own amazement and wonder at seeing God's blessing in the form of a child.

It is not the physical appearance of the child that attracts us. It is not her talent or intelligence. It is not the wealth in her family. Even a child without any of these is cute and beautiful. What strikes me as really wonderful in children is their innocence and their ability to trust everyone around implicitly. A child's mind is not crooked or scheming. It is simple, straight, open and transparent. She is honest about what she wants and what she likes or dislikes. She does not hide things. She speaks what she thinks. And most of all she believes what we tell her.

When we see a child we want to love her. We want to play with her and laugh in a carefree manner like her. We want to provide her with things that make her happy. We want to protect her from harm. The whole world loves a child for its nature, character and behaviour.

Why can't we be more like children?

No pain no gain

All of us are programmed to avoid pain. We know it hurts. Having experienced pain once, we do everything possible to keep it away. We react spontaneously and instantaneously at the first hint of pain - physical or mental pain. But pain is not always so bad. Though it hurts, it also has its uses.

People who work out and are into sports enjoy pain. They feel satisfied with their training and hard work only when they feel the pain. It indicates to them that there is an impact and a resistance being formed in the body which makes them stronger and fitter. Pain helps them identify which muscle parts to work on and which to give rest.

Pain at the mental level also has its positive benefits. It makes us mentally prepared and strong to handle similar situations in the future. It helps the mind to reflect on things. It is only when we experience mental anguish that we realise that there is more to life than mere enjoyment and pleasure. We ponder on our purpose and become more realistic when we experience pain.

A life without pain is boring and pointless. With such a life we become complacent and start taking things for granted. It might even make some of us arrogant and rude. Most importantly, without pain we might even forget God and spend our time in useless pursuits which do nothing to help us evolve into better beings.

So, welcome pain. Treat it as a necessary evil which has come to do some course correction for you. Look at it positively and enjoy the experience that pain delivers. When your mind is thus tuned to accept pain, it loses its sting. Who knows, you may even look forward to the experience...

Food for thought

In the Bhagavad-Gita, Lord Krishna has spoken about three difference types of characteristics viz. Sattvik, Rajasik and Tamasik. People with Sattvik character are pure in thoughts, charitable, kind, non-violent etc. Their minds are tuned towards good things and towards God. People with Rajasik character have high levels of competitiveness, energy, anger and ambition. Tamasik people are lazy, indolent, confused, lethargic and given to base tendencies. Most of us have a combination of various characteristics and the mix differs from person to person.

Lord Krishna also describes the kinds of food preferred by each type of person. The sattvik person prefers fresh fruits / vegetables / nuts, food cooked without much seasoning and food offered first to the Lord. The rajasik person likes hot, pungent and spicy food which tickles her taste buds and ignites the passion in her. The tamasik person like food which are stale, kept overnight, already tasted by others or intoxicating. So, food also can be categorised as Sattvik, Rajasik or Tamasik based on who prefers it.

Our character gets influenced over time based on what we eat. So, if we are the adventurous and sporty type, we can consume Rajasik food to lift our spirits and make us energetic and competitive. If we want to turn spiritual, we should cultivate a habit of eating only / mainly sattvik food. If we consume any food which seems tasty without understanding the nature of it, we may be unknowingly creating a barrier for ourselves. So, if a sportsperson is tending to eat food that is either stale or not fresh, she is likely to feel lethargic and not competitive.

As people focussed on living a life of values, it would be right to redefine what we eat. Focus on sattvik food. It will slowly but steadily improve your character. You will find yourself less excitable and more balanced. You will find good positive thoughts arising more often than before. Sattvik food will facilitate you in your journey towards values based living.

Watch your breath

Have you noticed how we tend to breath differently when we are in different moods? When we are relaxed we may be taking deep breaths and when excited or angry it may be quick breaths. When we are shocked we may even stop breathing for a short while. It is indeed true that our mind and our breathing pattern are closely interlinked.

The good news is that we can control our moods if we control our breath. If we find ourselves getting irritated or angry, we only need to regulate our breath for a period of time to make the anger reduce in intensity or even disappear altogether. Likewise, when we are feeling tired and lethargic, we can re-charge ourselves by taking shorter intense breaths.

Yoga practitioners say we can even energise ourselves by breathing in through our right nostril and relax ourselves by breathing in through the left nostril. In fact, there are several breathing techniques taught in yoga which can be used to bring about positive impact not only to our moods but as a cure to several ailments also. There are several meditation techniques which are based simply on watching and controlling our breaths.

Most people are never conscious of their breathing patterns. It is something that happens involuntarily and continuously. If we are aware of the tremendous bearing that our breathing has on our moods and our actions, we will work towards regulating it better. It would be interesting to note that in the animal world, life span is linked to the type of breathing - shorter breaths shorter life and vice versa.

When we watch and control our breathing - initially consciously and through practice - we dramatically improve our lives. We become healthier in body and spirit. Our attitudes, opinions and actions become more balanced. It becomes easier to live a life of values if we simply watch our breaths.

"For breath is life, and if you breathe well you will live long on earth." - Sanskrit Proverb

"A healthy mind has an easy breath." - Author Unknown

"Inhale and God approaches you. Hold the inhalation and God remains with you. Exhale and you approach God. Hold the exhalation and surrender to God." - Krishnamacharya

Half full or half empty?

One of my cousins' came visiting recently. He was born 52 years ago along with a twin sister who was born a few minutes before him. When the doctors were trying to deliver him, they used forceps wrongly resulting in damaging his hearing permanently. He has lived with his deficiency which impacted his education and his career. When he talks about it, he is not bitter - rather he has taken it as the will of God. He is now happily married and the proud father of a beautiful and talented daughter.

Most of us have some special talents which we are born with. We also have some deficiencies. Some apparent as in my cousins case and some not so apparent. Some are born in rich families with no need to worry about their finances or security. Some are born in very poor conditions. The big question is how do we deal with our situations?

Do we adjust ourselves and focus on our strengths or do we let it overwhelm us and worry about the weakness? Do we thank the Almighty for what He has given us or do we crib and complain about what we lack?

If it something that we can cure or correct, we should make every effort possible. However, if the situation is permanent and beyond repair, it will useful to accept it and move on. It will help us sail through life with much peace and joy. It will be absolutely meaningless to carry a feeling of hurt and grievance in our minds. Such thoughts will only serve to make our lives bitter.

So, is your cup of happiness half full or half empty?

Live a life of values

Wherever we look in our universe, we are bound to see nature at its best. Everywhere we see orderliness and patterns that are followed in a sacrosanct manner. The birds go to roost at fixed times, nocturnal birds snooze in the day, every fruit has a particular flavour and pattern, the oceans remain within their boundaries etc. It is as if God has laid down rules and each creature is following it religiously.

It is only us human beings who have broken all rules and been creating our own rules. We sleep during day and work at nights. We systematically destroy nature to fulfil our selfish ambitions. We become violent without sufficient reason. We use deceit for personal gain. The list is endless. Our acts are not without its consequences. Whenever we transgress the rules, we end up making the world an unsafe place to live in. We end up creating a direct impact on our environment. In the mad pursuit of happiness, we end up becoming and making others unhappy.

We can see crisis after crisis hitting the world at regular intervals. Whether it is a crisis which impacts health like the AIDS crisis or one that impacts economies like the sub-prime crisis, we can directly link each crisis to the drop in moral standards. Even natural disasters like droughts, floods or earthquakes can be managed better if we have high moral values in our lives.

Clearly there is a need to reflect on this and identify the rules that we, as humans, need to follow. "Values" are the rules that will help us restore nature to its glory and help us to enjoy this precious life. Values are the guiding lights that lead us in this world made dark by all kinds of sins. By leading a life of values, we enrich our own lives and also the lives of people around us. We also facilitate creating a culture of valued based living.

The purpose of this blogspot is to list out all the values that are important and to serve as a reminder for us to follow it. In the preceding articles, we have spoken about many values like love, kindness, generosity, charity, selflessness, truth, honesty etc. All of these must become part and parcel of our daily lives. When we thus live a life of values, we will slowly but surely bring about a change. Value based living will erase the ills of the society and will help create a world where peace and joy abounds.

On the question of values, don’t ever compromise...

“Raising the standard of living must also mean raising ethical, moral and spiritual standards." - Sri Satya Sai Baba

“You are in charge of your feelings, beliefs, and actions. And you teach others how to behave toward you. While you cannot change other people, you can influence them through your own behaviors and actions. By being a living role model of what you want to receive from others, you create more of what you want in your life” - Eric Allenbaugh

“Live today as if it were your last.” - Robin Sharma

“You are not here to merely make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.” - Woodrow Wilson