Charity & Sacrifice

“Warren Buffet and Bill Gates contribute billions to charity” screamed the headlines in leading newspapers. The rationale for their magnanimous gesture - any surplus wealth left after taking care of all our requirements, and that of our children, are much more useful if donated in charity. Now, both of them are on a crusade to persuade other wealthy people to do likewise.

When I read the news of this extraordinary generosity of the two richest men in the world today, I was reminded of a story which features in our Puranas. Once, a very wealthy & powerful King had organized a huge Yagna or sacrifice. The practice of those days was that the King, upon the conclusion of the rituals, would give away large sums of wealth, grains, cattle, clothes etc. as charity to the needy people who would throng such occasions.

The king felt blissful and blessed after he had given away significant part of the wealth that he had accumulated through conquests, taxes etc. Suddenly, a hare appeared and started rolling on the grounds in front of the king. He noticed that one side of the hare was golden and the other side was normal. Intrigued, he asked the hare as to what it was up to.

The hare replied that it was in search of a worthy sacrifice to ensure that its body became fully golden. It said that half of its body became golden when it rolled in the floor of a peasant whose sacrifice was extraordinary. The King wanted to know more about this. So, he asked the hare to tell him the story of the peasant and his sacrifice.

The hare informed the king that there was a family of peasants who were very kind and charitable. They would often starve due to poverty and, on the days they could afford, would eat their meal only after feeding more needy people. One day, as they were about to eat, after starving for 3 days, they had a visitor who was hungry. They gladly invited him for sharing their meal. After he had been fed, as the family sat down to eat, another visitor came who was also very hungry. By the time they fed him, all the food in the house was over. They only had water left to drink. Just before they could have it, another visitor came with dogs and said that the dogs were thirsty. So, they even gave up the water for the dogs.

They gave up their lives in this manner and attained the highest goal. The family was blessed because they did not distinguish between themselves and others. Their sacrifice was indeed greater than any charity that people do after taking care of their needs. The hare rolled on their floor and became half golden. Since then, he was searching for a similar level of sacrifice so that he could become fully golden. The King, after hearing the story, realized that his effort, although praiseworthy, paled in comparison to the sacrifice of the peasant family.

Charity is when you feel for others. Sacrifice is when you treat others as yourself.

Use time well

I met a 75 year old man yesterday who is working as a senior executive in a large firm. He said that although he retired many years ago, he has allowed himself to be persuaded to continue employment and put his talents, knowledge and experience to productive use. His wife passed away recently of cancer and he regretted that he could never spend enough time with her or his children. It seems she always complained to him that his work was his first wife and she was only his housekeeper. I could sense that he was deeply upset over his neglect of her.

This meeting set me thinking. Sometimes we are confused about our priorities. We tend to focus on the the wrong things only to realise and regret much later. We get employed to sustain ourselves and our families but get carried away and imagine that our career is of paramount importance. We begin to enjoy the rat race and do not know when to stop. We begin to crave for continuous success in this race and want to win at any cost.

Of course, there are some people who are clear about their goals and purpose. If career is indeed ones sole pursuit, it is great to be focused and dogged about it. However, for most people, career is not the sole goal. They seek happiness in the family front too. Some have spiritual goals too. For such people, it is frustrating to be unable to give adequate attention to other goals. One should not end up as a successful yet unhappy or dissatisfied person due to neglecting other goals.

It would be useful, from time to time, to step back and re-evaluate our direction and our time allocation to various activities. Are we allocating sufficient time for our physical well being? Are we giving enough quality time and attention to our loved ones? Is recreation, rejuvenation and connecting with God featuring in our calendar? Are TV & computers becoming an obsession? Is there any mismatch between our priorities and our activities?

The time to course correct is now. Do not let inertia dictate your life. Get in control of your time. Because without our realising it, we are getting older and exhausting our precious and limited time.

Use your time well.

“Put your family first. I’ve yet to see an obituary that says, “He died peacefully surrounded by his stockbroker, his accountant and his golf partner.” - Robin Sharma

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” - Annie Dillard

“If you don’t make time for exercise, you’ll probably have to make time for illness.” - Robin Sharma

Live light

When we are born, we are born without any baggage. We live at the mercy of others around us. All our needs are taken care of by others. Seeing us so innocent and so light, everyone is attracted towards us. We give nothing to others and yet receive so much love, so much affection, so much care and so much attention. A slightest cry from us would be enough to melt everyone around.

Over the years, as our ego develops, we start accumulating possessions. We start getting attached to things. We start having desires. With desires comes anxieties and worries. The more we get, the more we expect. When expectations are not fulfilled, we become angry or disappointed. It is clear that our accumulation habit leads us to many negative situations.

The more baggage we carry, the more tiresome our journey becomes. If you want to enjoy the journey, travel light. Shed your ego. Shed your desires. Shed your possessions. Shed your attachments. Enjoy every moment in the blissful light feeling.

Live right. Live light.

Slow down

A rich guy went on a holiday to a beach resort and saw a fisherman dozing under his boat on the shore. The rich guy admonished him for wasting his time and told him to use his time more productively. He said "You can work more, catch more fish, buy more boats and make much wealth rather than being a poor fisherman". The fisherman wanted to know the objective of making much wealth. The rich man said "You can then feel secure and be able to enjoy your wealth and relax in peace". The fisherman reminded him that it was exactly what he was doing before the lecture began!!

One of the distinctive features of living today, especially in urban areas, is our fast paced life. We try to experience and enjoy everything without having to wait. It is as if we do not want to waste a single moment of our precious lives. All around us we see people in a hurry to get to their destinations and their goals. Each one seems to be in a tearing hurry to accumulate wealth. No one wants to enjoy the journey anymore. This can be quite disorienting to people who come from rural areas where the pace of life is much slower.

Within a short time of beginning to learn something, we want to become experts at it. Budding artists are keen to display their talents, be it music, dance or something else, to everyone even before they have mastered it. Children yearn to complete the education process quickly and begin their careers early. It would not be surprising if people expect shorter pregnancies in times to come!!

While it may be good to have quicker results and faster turnarounds, it should not be at the cost of quality. We must not forget that everything has a gestation period. If we try to unnaturally complete tasks, we might end up getting contrary results or bad end products. Moreover, all this results in a highly stressful life. When we become excessively demanding with ourselves as well as others, we end up creating high levels of stress and consequent health as well as quality issues.

We must pause a while and consider the impact of our high speed living. Is it really worth it? Are we really accomplishing something worthwhile by living thus? What prompts us to live such lives? Is there a fear of getting left behind that is driving us? What is the consequence of running this rat race? Is there something that we are missing while leading such a life? Are we impacting our relationships by our quest for speed?

The objective of this post is not to ask people to hibernate, go into a shell, run at snails pace or not be ambitious. It is to point out the benefits of being natural and experiencing the positive spin-offs by a moderate and simple life style. Please read the story by Leo Tolstoy on "How much land does a man need" at http://www.katinkahesselink.net/other/tolstoy.html and you will understand the essense of this post.

Value Dilemma

People who are following values diligently are sometimes faced with situations when one value seems to conflict with another. If one value is practiced, it might result in violating another value. What kinds of situations are we talking about? And how does one deal with such a situation? I give a couple of examples of conflicting situations to illustrate the point.

Instance one: An animal, say a cow, has escaped a butcher and is running down a road with the butcher in hot pursuit. It takes a side road and the butcher does not see it. He goes up to a pedestrian who has witnessed the entire sequence and asks him if he has seen the animal. If the pedestrian speaks the truth he ends up sending the poor animal to its death which it is seeking to escape from. Thus, truth (value) is seen as conflicting with compassion (value).

Instance two: A group of fundamentalists are attacking / persecuting a person for his religious views which are conflicting with theirs. The attacks are ferocious and life threatening. A group of neutral by-standers are watching this and have to decide whether to interfere or not. One value (that of protecting the weak and defenceless) is conflicted with the value of non-violence.

There could be so many instances in our daily lives that put us in such a dilemma. Should one use the cane on a child or use more gentle approaches? Should one continue to trust someone even when there are instances where the trust is betrayed?

One way would be to go "with ones conscience" and "listen to the heart". All lay people would recommend this as it is easy to implement and seems most logical. The problem, however, is that one conscience is conditioned by ones upbringing and past experiences. This may lead to different people using different approaches when dealing with similar situations. This is not desirable as inconsistencies are not the sign of a mature and balanced society.

This is the reason why our seers wrote epics like the Ramayana and the Mahabaratha to guide people on the best way to deal with situations. The reading of such epics is essential for all if we have to develop a consistent approach on dealing with value dilemmas. The stories are intricately narrated with various instances of conflicting situations and one can learn from how the characters deal with such situations. Dharma or Values are explained at length throughout such epics in a very logical and convincing way.

In the first instance given above the protection of the animal is considered as a higher value and therefore has to be followed even at the cost of being untruthful. And in the second instance, the reaction of the by-stander would be based on their caste (a brahmin may advice and a kshatriya has to fight) and in case of doubt, the value of protecting is higher than that of non-violence.

I would love to hear comments on this very important topic for discussion.

How to Earn Respect

I overheard two senior citizens talking about something animatedly. One said "I really felt insulted when he did what he did. After all I deserve some respect. I retired as Chief of XYZ organisation and I am no ordinary guy. I still feel hurt and upset over that incident....". He went on and on. How many of us have felt similarly at some stage in our lives? We all crave for recognition and respect. And if there are instances where we experience something else, we feel hurt and brood over it for a long long time.

I remember a favourite saying heard in my childhood days "Command Respect and don't Demand Respect". I always felt that it is important to know how to command respect and this blog attempts to address this question.

In order to command respect from other, we would need to do one or more things from the list given below. This list is only indicative and not exhaustive. Moreover, it is not listed in any particular order other than how it occurred to me. To earn and retain respect, we should:

1. Give respect to others and their feelings
2. Be humble
3. Work without expectations
4. Be selfless
5. Have courage
6. Have high integrity
7. Listen more
8. Speak well
9. Deliver on promises

It occurs to me that people tend to genuinely respect only those people who live a life of values. Others may be able to create a false respect out of fear or greed but these are short lived and certainly not heartfelt. Whatever your role in life may be - whether as a boss, a friend, a mother, a teacher, a parent or anything else, in my considered view, real respect is only reserved for value based living.

What are your thoughts on this?

Embracing Values

Yesterday I read in the newspapers that B schools are planning to introduce and cover the subject of ethics in their curriculum. This thought has come about after seeing many scams that have been perpetrated by the educated professionals. I was heartened by this news as this subject is close to my heart.

I have always believed that the world will become difficult to live in unless everyone lives a life of values. Anarchy. lawlessness, violence, cheating etc. will thrive without values being practiced in earnest by people. We might progress materially but will decay in every other aspect without values guiding our lives.

Having said this, I feel that ethics or values cannot be inculcated by teaching it as a subject and getting students to learn the theory of values. People who have ethics as a subject to be passed to become a graduate might end up mugging this subject and not really understanding it or imbibing it. The very objective of introducing the subject and inculcating it might get diluted if were to be a mere topic for study.

What then is the way forward? I give below some thoughts that come to mind and hope to see it getting enriched by the comments of my readers.

1. Ethics education should begin early. Right from childhood. The parents, siblings and others who make up the child's world (core group) should be actively involved in educating the child right from the impressionable age.

2. The core group should also demonstrate and live a life of values at all times. The child who is thus exposed to value living at an early age will imbibe it and practice it.

3. Encouragement should be given to the child every time she confirms to the value living concept. She should be lavishly praised for every single example in her life which shows values. Her mind should thus get firm on living a life of values.

4. If there are errors or judgement or occasions of default, it should be noted but not excessively dwelt upon. Instead, encouragement / positive strokes should be used liberally to imbibe values.

5. Others should also be spoken of highly for the values they show. This will create an intense desire in the child to inculcate those values too.

6. Children love hearing stories and they should get to hear, see and read stories wherein the themes revolve around values. The main characters should be exemplars in this area.

7. School should also be having curriculum, methods and standards which encourage values. Yardstick for judging a child should be the demonstration of values and not success / wealth etc. acquired through unfair means.

8. Society should also be built on similar lines. People who live ethically should be recognised, appreciated and even rewarded more than others who do not follow. They are the ones who should be treated as the heroes of every society.

9. Only such people who live ethically and with values should be allowed to elect and be elected as leaders and law makers.

I think the above steps outlined gives a fair idea of how I think. I know it can be branded as impractical and impossible to implement. However, I feel that if we want a clean society, we have no option but implement the above. If we work towards this relentlessly, we will eventually achieve our objective.

I am looking forward to your views on how we can create a world for the future generations which will be a pleasure for them to live in.

Be thee modest

The other day, I had an interesting experience. I was hearing an important person speak about his organisation. Out of his allotted time of thirty minutes, he spoke for about fifteen minutes about his contribution to the growth of the organisation. The speech was peppered with "I" and "me". I could hear the audience snicker and grumble. The token applause from them encouraged the speaker to boast some more.

At the end of the speech everyone was unanimous in condemning the speaker. They wondered why he had to blow his own trumpet this way. Was it his insecurity? Or was it a wrong value system? In any case, his speech had an exact reverse effect from what he intended.


Many a times, we tend to fall in this trap. We feel that our services are not recognised and we need to publicise it. We feel that others who promote themselves end up getting all the accolades and the rewards. We feel that unless we talk about our achievements, it will be missed out or forgotten.

However, in my view, this is absolutely unnecessary. People do notice even though they may not openly acknowledge or praise the doer. Someone who is actively performing is always recognised. Modestly is a virtue that we should all cultivate. If someone praises us openly the correct response would be to down play our achievement and include others for the recognition. Such a response is agreeable and positive. The more one demurs, the more is the value given to that person.

What are your thoughts?

Give to get

A long time ago, when the barter system was prevalent, there was a trade agreement between two persons. One was a dairy farmer and the other had an orchard of apples. They agreed that every week they will exchange five liters of milk with one kilogram of apples. This went on smoothly for a few months.

One day the dairy farmer went to the king with a dispute. He said "I have been noticing that I am getting less than a kilo of apple each week. My trade partner is cheating me by giving me less than what was contracted for." The king sent for the other guy and asked him for his version.

The orchard owner said " I have been noticing a steady dilution in the quality of the milk that is being supplied to me. What used to be thick and creamy is now thin and watery. As I am getting less, I am supplying less."

This situation is not unusual. Times have changed and we now have the monetary system but people's mindsets are still the same. We all want a good bargain. We want to pay less and get more. "Value for money" is how we describe this expectation.

If everyone wants to get and none wants to give, how will trade happen? The same applies to relationships also. Unless we give, we should not expect to get anything. The more we give, the more we love, the better will our relationships be. Without giving, the relationship becomes bitter.

There is also a joy in giving without expectations. People who are generous realise that giving is indeed more joyful than getting. There is an indescribable pleasure in making others happy. When we give selflessly and unconditionally, we are creating positive circles of joy which makes the world a better place to live.

True test of knowledge

One topic that can be endlessly debated on is "what is knowledge?"

Who can be called as knowledgeable? Is it people with strong skill sets? Or is it people who have a string of degrees? Or is it people who have large number of followers and devotees? Is it the consultants / experts who command a huge price? Or is it people with depth of experience in select areas? Or is it people who hold high positions and have huge power bestowed on them?

What is knowledge? Is it the same as intelligence or smartness? Most of us often confuse information or charisma or articulation with knowledge. Real knowledge is something beyond all this. People who strut around with pride on their knowledge often get stuck for words when asked simple questions like "Who am I?". Knowledge should not be confused with ability to make a living or earn wealth.

My own thoughts on this is as follows. A person can be called knowledgeable if she knows her self. She is able to differentiate between her body and her self and likewise with others. She knows the interconnections between different forms of life. She knows how to live and the purpose of her life. She knows where she has come from and where her destination is.

The true test of knowledge is not in the ability to articulate with conviction. A person who is truly knowledgeable can be identified by her conduct. Such a person is always cool, calm, balanced and unperturbed. She is gentle with all and compassionate. She has love for all beings and is always interested in giving rather than getting. She is selfless. She upholds values irrespective of its consequences.

A persons knowledge level is known by her conduct.